Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hey, I'm not dead.

It's just that life isn't so exciting for me. My life still isn't living up to my Prius commercial fantasies, except I'm now actively trying to fix that. Let's be clear: I understand that life will never be perfect. My goal is simply to enjoy what I've got as much as I can without worrying too much about the state of my house or the fact that my child doesn't say anything in English other than "Daddy". (Phew, that was a long sentence.)
The weather is getting warmer. Baby Bear is still a tiny man-12 month clothes are too big for my 14 month old. When he goes in for his 15 month visit, I will address that concern after I see how much he weighs. He eats. Doesn't eat a wide variety of things, but he still eats. He's pretty proficient at the sippy cup now. It was worth it to quit the bottle cold turkey. I didn't have the patience for gradual weaning. He's walking like a pro; it is now his chosen form of transportation.
Papa Bear has a new job and it allows him to work from home most days. I love it.  I can't bother him or hang out with him any more than I could when he worked in an office, but it's nice knowing he's here. I don't have to worry about his long commute, wonder if he caught the early train, and he's already home for Baby Bear's dinner and bathtime. It means we get to spend more time together, and he seems much less stressed out, which is good for all of us.
Hmm, what else is new? I applied for a job, interviewed for it, and didn't get it (story of my life) and there haven't been any openings that are resume worthy. I'm fortunate to be able to stay at home, and frankly, until I get my life straightened out a little bit, it's probably better that I don't have a real job. Yes, being a mother is a real job, I know. It's hard work. The hours suck. Your boss poops and pees in his pants and screams if you don't hold him. He also throws things across the room and occasionally bites you. But Lord, is he cute or what?
I just want to be able to look back on this time and know that I did my best. For various reasons I won't get into, I don't feel like I'm doing my best. The circumstances are out of my control, but I'm working on that. Hopefully things start changing soon.

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